Episode 259 – The Tragedy Of Trying Too Hard

Co-Host Emily McKay

Co-Host: Emily McKay - X & Y On The Fly

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A couple of episodes ago we talked about how we can be our own worst enemy. But upon reflection, we left out one of the most devastating–and common–ways we do that. So this time, Emily and I are talking, of course, about trying too hard.

Do men, especially so-called ‘nice guys’, do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks?

But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically instead?

And what’s the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic?

Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they’re ‘pushing it uphill’ and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what’s up with men’s tendency to try logicking women into liking us?

Women often say they ‘want a man to pursue them’, but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up.

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