Co-Host: Avi Lev - Bay Area CBT Center
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My guest Avi Lev is a cognitive behavioral therapist and the founder/director of the Bay Area CBT Center. She has spent lots of time considering how both men AND women fear rejection, and talks about it in completely different terms than your garden variety old school PUA would have.
In this episode you’ll discover how our behaviors actually influence how women respond to u, sometimes in unexpected or even counterintuitive ways. What is the dirty little trick we play on ourselves that often results in feeling ‘rejected’ when we really haven’t been? It’s like we’re our own worst enemy…often.
But hold on a second, Avi and I differ on how much we believe confidence helps in rejection-phobic situations with women. How can that be?
Next, Avi offers her own interpretation of deserving what you want and how it directly affects getting over fear of rejection. Then we drop a bomb on the whole conversation when we pronounce being ‘impressive’ straight up irrelevant to approach and attraction.
As you may know, I’ve talked about approach being a conversation, not a competition of acceptance vs. rejection. But Avi wonders aloud what’s so bad about rejection, anyway? After all, if we’re so wadded up in self-absorbed fear, we might completely forget to evaluate whether or not the woman we’re talking to is even as attractive as we hoped she’d be.
By the way, do women really get off on rejecting men rudely? How and when do women experience fear of rejection?
How do dating pitfalls such as zombieing, benching, love bombing, etc. fit into this? Never before has fear of rejection been so clearly explained or given a real-world remedy.
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