Episode 449 – Assertive But Not Angry

Co-Host Dr. Marcia Reynolds

Co-Host: Dr. Marcia Reynolds - Transformational Conversation Teacher And Coach

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When it comes to making our desires and grievances known, we as men can easily find ourselves landing on one side or the other of two extremes. Either we get angry and yell about it, or we bottle it all up and do nothing.

Well, in this episode I’m joined by returning guest Dr. Marcia Reynolds. We kick things off by talking about how so many guys find it difficult to be assertive without either rocking the boat or creating some big, hairy misunderstanding. Even worse, most of us dread coming off like some sort of male ‘Karen’. And I mean, we’re all sick of feeling judged by others, so that’s the last way we want to come off. Fortunately, there are simple ways to mitigate those situations, which Marcia happily explains.

First off, our brains are naturally designed to judge everything to protect us, so how do we know how and when to act on those judgments when necessary…especially if it potentially involves someone else’s behavior modification? And how can we be assertive without lapsing into passive aggression?

On that note, what exactly does ‘passive aggressive’ actually mean? And what is the difference between toughness and assertiveness? Do women want us as men to be tough as nails all the time? I mean, is there zero margin for error there?

And how should we be more assertive–or less so–within the context of our own relationship with a woman? Ha…that’s a tricky one. How can arrogance cloud our effectiveness at being assertive?

How does Hanlon’s Razor factor into all of this? And the million dollar question…how do we measure how assertive to actually be in any given situation?

 

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