Episode 463 – The Psychology Of Attraction

Co-Host: Zach Schleien - GM of Matchmaking, Spark Networks

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My returning guest Zach Schleien has founded dating companies and now serves as the General Manager of Matchmaking for Spark Networks. Over the course of his career, he’s learned a thing or two about what attracts men and women to each other. So what are the mindsets, trigger and attitudes that make attraction happen at the primal, psychological level? Well, obviously physical attraction matters (hence Zach’s commitment to video dating), but how that works differs between men and women. It has been said that none of us should expect to ‘punch above our weight’ in the looks department, but we see exceptions around us all the time. What is that attributable to? Is it true that if a guy has a great job or lots of money it’ll cover over ‘a multitude of sins’ in the looks department? What do women find attractive that’s in relatively short supply among men here in the post-modern era? Was David DeAngelo right when he famously said, ‘attraction is not a choice’? What is the general rule that governs what the media tells us is ‘attractive’? What happens to our sense of attraction as we cross cultures and travel to different countries? Are all pretty women attractive? What about women who know they’re beautiful, and seem to think they can get by on their looks alone? How do dating apps mess up our entire mindset about attraction? And on that note, are we really attracted to women we think we’re attracted to, or are our minds playing tricks on us (again)? And if we really don’t have our type figured out yet, what’s the disarmingly obvious solution to solving the puzzle?