Co-Host: Dr. Thomas Jordan - Author, Clinical Psychologist
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An increasingly disturbing trend is toward unabashedly transactional relationships between men and women. But what does that even mean? My returning guest is Dr. Thomas Jordan, a clinical psychologist and love live researcher who may be the very best guy to answer that question.
Dr. Jordan (you can call him Tom) and I talk first about the reasons why relationships have moved away from concepts like, oh…intimacy and connection, and more toward what each respective party can get out of the deal. Is there any wonder the divorce rate is so high? Well, as it turns out, there’s more there than meets the eye…and it’s fascinating.
What is the connection between transactional relationships and what Tom calls ‘defensive relationships’? And is it possible to have a purely transactional relationship even if the two of you have ‘fallen in love’?
What if the person you want to serve your needs in a relationship actually has needs of their own…but both partners are completely oblivious to that even being a possibility? Can such a relationship be redeemed, let alone last for any reasonable period of time?
Next, Tom drops a bomb…people who are all about transactional relationships DON’T need dating advice (but it’s not like it’s because they’re all set, though). How did many people who gravitate toward selfishness in relationships become that way? And, well…what is the healthier alternative to transactional relationships? While we’re at it, what is “intimacy” supposed to look like, anyway?
Then we talk about how the subjective “benefits”, if you will, above and beyond mere transactional relationships often take people by surprise…and how FAR too many people figure that out too late in life, if they find out at all. Overall, a particularly meaningful and valuable episode with one of the great relationship thinkers of our time.
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